The volunteer coordinator from the hosting organization finally got in touch with me today. She told me the homestudy agency they are working with will NOT do the "mini" homestudy (she called it a first visit report) that we were originally told would happen. Instead, they will do a complete homestudy. That means that if the first visit report would have cost $350, the full homestudy will cost $1000 instead. That adds $650 to the expense of hosting a child for five weeks. I can't imagine a family doing a host-only program, only families that intend to adopt their host child would pay that much money, in addition to the over $1000 hosting fees, in addition to the related expenses (i.e., camp, clothing and food and entertainment, possible physical exam for the host parent). I'm also pretty sure that Colombia requires a psychological evaluation for adoption, but I'm not sure if that would have to be done for a hosting homestudy (those are pretty expensive, but I've never done one so I don't know how much money to estimate).
To say I'm displeased is an understatement. The $650 difference is quite substantial. If I decide to do a new homestudy, it's more economical to just update my old homestudy from several years ago. That would still be about $300 more than what I already budgeted, but not the $650 I'm now presented with. I know that I shouldn't let $300 control my future, but remember that this is not my first attempt at adoption. I have, unfortunately, a lot of experience with agencies that don't tell the full story. What I'm starting to hear now sounds like half-stories, and that worries me A LOT.
I also read that the children coming this summer are considerably older than in past years. Not that the children are older, but there are less younger children. While I don't feel like the child I adopt will join my family as an infant, I also feel that my child will join my family way before the teen years. From what I hear, if I host this summer, Invisible Kid may already be a teen. I'm not interested in that. That's not how I see myself as a parent.
Lucky Boy is trying to process this information. We're going on a mini-vacation this weekend (and unlike the promise of a mini-homestudy, or mini-vacation is actually about 1/5 of what we originally budgeted, using his tax return and anticipated rebate). We're going to spend some time planning things out, as I'm no longer confident this is the right option for me. "I don't want to see you go through it a third time," that's LB's feelings, and I definitely DO NOT want to go through "it" again.
Friday, March 21, 2008
Friday, March 14, 2008
Quick update
I can't believe it's been ten days since I posted! Sorry.
We're trying to set priorities. NO, we don't really need to go to every concert and show that catches Lucky Boy's eye. We almost have the hosting fees covered, but we'll still have to pay for the homestudy AND for camp, and for any other expenses once she's here. Plus, after hosting, if we decide to adopt, we're going to need a lot more money. And if we decide to not adopt, we can still see most of the shows he wants to see anyway.
In the meantime, here's a list of things Invisible Kid doesn't need right now, so we didn't buy:
1. Season pass to a local water park - right now she gets in for free anyway since she's invisible.
2. New clothes, whether they are on sale or not - right now she can walk around naked and no one will notice, because she's invisible.
3. Games, using that "buy a bunch and get more for free" option at TRU - right now she has enough things to play with.
4. PlayStation. Sorry, Lucky Boy, but Invisible Kid does NOT need a $300 video game right now. And I doubt she'll need it for the summer, either.
5. Tickets to what looks to be a great concert at an outdoor venue. It may be too overwhelming for Invisible Kid when she gets here, and if she's still invisible on the day of the concert then we can get better seats for the same money.
I also want to publicly thank the blogger who got the quilling supplies I offered. She sent me a nice donation, which is so very much appreciated and totally unexpected. I really just wanted the supplies to go to a good home instead of the garbage (because I just never did get the hang of the gluing-it-all-togetber, but I always loved the look of quilled pieces). Thank you SO much!
I'm also adding to the thermometer our overtime pay and another book I sold on Amazon. I decided to sell the scarves I made and donate the money to another fundraiser at work instead.
We're trying to set priorities. NO, we don't really need to go to every concert and show that catches Lucky Boy's eye. We almost have the hosting fees covered, but we'll still have to pay for the homestudy AND for camp, and for any other expenses once she's here. Plus, after hosting, if we decide to adopt, we're going to need a lot more money. And if we decide to not adopt, we can still see most of the shows he wants to see anyway.
In the meantime, here's a list of things Invisible Kid doesn't need right now, so we didn't buy:
1. Season pass to a local water park - right now she gets in for free anyway since she's invisible.
2. New clothes, whether they are on sale or not - right now she can walk around naked and no one will notice, because she's invisible.
3. Games, using that "buy a bunch and get more for free" option at TRU - right now she has enough things to play with.
4. PlayStation. Sorry, Lucky Boy, but Invisible Kid does NOT need a $300 video game right now. And I doubt she'll need it for the summer, either.
5. Tickets to what looks to be a great concert at an outdoor venue. It may be too overwhelming for Invisible Kid when she gets here, and if she's still invisible on the day of the concert then we can get better seats for the same money.
I also want to publicly thank the blogger who got the quilling supplies I offered. She sent me a nice donation, which is so very much appreciated and totally unexpected. I really just wanted the supplies to go to a good home instead of the garbage (because I just never did get the hang of the gluing-it-all-togetber, but I always loved the look of quilled pieces). Thank you SO much!
I'm also adding to the thermometer our overtime pay and another book I sold on Amazon. I decided to sell the scarves I made and donate the money to another fundraiser at work instead.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Current events
I'm a little worried about the political situation in Colombia right now. Hugo Chavez (Venezuela) and Ecuador seem to be having some big controversy with the Colombian government, and things look pretty hostile. I saw one article referencing "dirty bombs," which is obviously quite disturbing.
I don't think any of that will affect our summer hosting plans, unless the Colombian government decides not to allow the children out of the country. Just because we are hosting does not mean we are adopting, regardless of our hope to adopt a child. We know full well that we may not choose to adopt the Invisible Kid, we may not choose to adopt any kid. This isn't about our hope to adopt, this is about our hope to help a child for the rest of her life. We would like to adopt, but there's a lot to figure out before we decide to pursue another adoption right now.
Please keep the children of Colombia (and all the citizens of all war-torn countries) in your thoughts and prayers.
I don't think any of that will affect our summer hosting plans, unless the Colombian government decides not to allow the children out of the country. Just because we are hosting does not mean we are adopting, regardless of our hope to adopt a child. We know full well that we may not choose to adopt the Invisible Kid, we may not choose to adopt any kid. This isn't about our hope to adopt, this is about our hope to help a child for the rest of her life. We would like to adopt, but there's a lot to figure out before we decide to pursue another adoption right now.
Please keep the children of Colombia (and all the citizens of all war-torn countries) in your thoughts and prayers.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Still moving along
I added $40 to the fundraising thermometer because... I sold 2 booka on Amazon! Pretty exciting, I think. It's only two books, but at least they went to good homes. I still have a lot more listed.
I forgot to bring the quilling materials to the post office to mail them. I'm hoping to do that this week, but I'm working late on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday so Tuesday is hopefully my day.
I decided not to sell the hat and scarves for the hosting fundraiser. A woman I work with was doing a fundraiser for a family friend who died after a long battle with cancer, leaving four children and lots of medical bills. I'm going to donate the money to that family, instead. People were so generous when I first put up that donate button and I feel like I should help this family. I've been getting some overtime hours at work, so that will help too. And Lucky Boy got some overtime, too. I'll probably update the thermometer with the first overtime payment this week. I'm also considering a different crafting project as a fundraiser, something more practical for the season.
I'm still waiting to hear about the mini-homestudy we have to do. I'm thinking the delay from the organization is related to the Hague accreditation announcement on Friday. Colombia has been a Hague country for many years, and some of the agencies that have been approved by Colombia are not on the US approved list. The agency I was hoping to use (geographically desirable, although it's said that geography isn't a good reason to pick an agency because it doesn't really matter where the agency is located) IS on the approved list. I picked that agency not only because they are geographically desirable, a less-than two hour drive from our house, but more because they have a very good reputation and I met some local families that used that agency to adopt from Colombia within the past five years. ALWAYS get references from families that have completed an adoption. DO NOT trust the references of families who are still in process. (Remember that this is not our first try at adoption.)
I forgot to bring the quilling materials to the post office to mail them. I'm hoping to do that this week, but I'm working late on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday so Tuesday is hopefully my day.
I decided not to sell the hat and scarves for the hosting fundraiser. A woman I work with was doing a fundraiser for a family friend who died after a long battle with cancer, leaving four children and lots of medical bills. I'm going to donate the money to that family, instead. People were so generous when I first put up that donate button and I feel like I should help this family. I've been getting some overtime hours at work, so that will help too. And Lucky Boy got some overtime, too. I'll probably update the thermometer with the first overtime payment this week. I'm also considering a different crafting project as a fundraiser, something more practical for the season.
I'm still waiting to hear about the mini-homestudy we have to do. I'm thinking the delay from the organization is related to the Hague accreditation announcement on Friday. Colombia has been a Hague country for many years, and some of the agencies that have been approved by Colombia are not on the US approved list. The agency I was hoping to use (geographically desirable, although it's said that geography isn't a good reason to pick an agency because it doesn't really matter where the agency is located) IS on the approved list. I picked that agency not only because they are geographically desirable, a less-than two hour drive from our house, but more because they have a very good reputation and I met some local families that used that agency to adopt from Colombia within the past five years. ALWAYS get references from families that have completed an adoption. DO NOT trust the references of families who are still in process. (Remember that this is not our first try at adoption.)
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